You know, I’ve been thinking about how much time I waste stressing over stuff that, honestly, doesn’t even matter. Like, I can lose sleep worrying about what my advisor will think if I say no to a peer review. Or whether a friend will be upset if I can’t celebrate with them. Or if my mom judges me for not doing motherhood the way she imagined. Or, even worse, what some random stranger I’ll maybe never see again might think of me. Honestly, how ridiculous is that?
Life has shown me over and over, that I’ve survived things I once thought I wouldn’t. I mean, really, the things I used to think would destroy me? They’ve already happened. I’ve lost loves I thought I’d never recover from, only to find myself loving again.
I’ve had surgeries where my family was told I might not wake up. I’ve felt pain so bad bc of endometriosis,it felt like it would break my mind. I’ve been broke, like, “IDK how I’ll eat tomorrow” broke, and yet somehow, I still made it. I survived a car accident where there was literally nothing left of the car. There have been so many moments where I genuinely believed, this is it, there’s no tomorrow. And yet, here I am. Somehow, the sun always came up, even when I wasn’t sure I wanted it to. Or when I was sure I didnt want it to.
Like when I lost my best friend, my soul dog of 15 years, and saw her suffer, as she died in my arms. And let’s be real, that’s just all the stuff I can talk about publicly. Everyone’s got their own silent battles.
So no, I’m not going to waste my energy freaking out over whether I’ll get lost on the NYC subway, or if my hair looks bad when I meet someone new. Because here’s the truth: I’ve already survived my worst fears. And if life has taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger than the things I once thought would break me. So why waste my time on the things that won’t?
Just like I’m not willing to stress about Instagram ruining my beautiful feed with their stupid new ratios. I started fixing it picture by picture, but no way… So this is how it’s going to stay, and I’ll, and we will all survive this too. 🙂