Fire Horse – Memories from a Monastery, Part 1.
The mornings began before I fully understood what they were doing to me. I couldn’t remember why I agreed to this experiment; I kept reminding myself, ‘remember your why, remember your why.’ But it wasn’t like in an American movie where you recite that into the mirror. We didn’t have that luxury, or a mirror […]
Under the same Moon, but on fire
So today I got a message on Substack that went something like this:I Hey, I’m trying to piece together from your Notes what’s actually going on with you. What’s happening in your life? What’s the deal? Are you single or in a relationship? Are you being funny or are you a genius? I’m confused — […]
Burn it down?
I recently saw a note on Substack that, at first glance, I was insanely drawn to, almost magnetized by it, because unfortunately I still deeply resonate with those love-bombing, overwhelmingly intense, all-consuming emotions that sweep you off your feet and make everything feel electric and fated and larger than life — but within moments it […]
Forged for the storm
The most expensive dust I own Are the ashes of my dreams and hopes. They are smoke and dust on a lonely road, The remains of who I once was. The wind goes wild, a wicked game, It blinds my eyes with fear and shame. My vision blurs, the sky turns black, I can’t move […]
A love letter
I want something where we can’t bear a single day without each other, where being apart physically hurts. Where you’d give anything just for my touch, where when we are together the rest of the world fades away. Where desire pulls you toward me instinctively, and where closeness feels magnetic, almost obsessive. I want something […]
I dare you to turn off the volume and listen
Today, I want to discuss how strongly I feel suspicious of those who fear being alone. Because when you’re alone, the world finally lowers its volume around you, the rush ends, and in that quiet, you can finally hear your own voice. You’re forced to sit with your thoughts. I enjoy being with my thoughts. […]
Fear has an expiration date
Eliott is three years old today, and as we celebrate, it makes me wonder: in those three years, he has lived more life than many humans manage in decades. He lived in three countries across two continents, and with paws on foreign asphalt and noses to unfamiliar winds, he also explored eight more. He understands […]
Delusional people will change the world
Previously, I wrote an article about my vision that keeps me awake at night—creating a better, more human healthcare system where both patients and doctors feel valued and important. I posted a note with a quote from it, and I received this comment: Comments like this still sadden me for a moment, but I’m actually glad they […]
Go, get lucky!
The other day, I found myself in an interesting conversation when someone asked whether I was ashamed to be Hungarian. I believe they were referring to the political situation, specifically that there hasn’t been true democracy in my country for a long time — only in name. Our prime minister is well-known worldwide. Even though […]
I’m a psychologist and a futurist, and I’m afraid
Before we ever learn to speak, before we learn how to name home, safety, future, or love, and before language comes to organize experience into sentences and explanations, there is already something inside us that knows how to speak. It’s like my writing — somatic — it communicates through the body first. Every language on this […]